It’s Really February?

Started the day off with some magnesium via IV and oral potassium supplements (These things are comically large), nothing all that interesting. I’ve never really delved into what it is about my treatment (or disease) that causes me to run low on those two elements so consistently. I’m holding myself back from jumping all over the staff about what my white blood cell count came back as from the midnight labs – I figure I can wait until 7am and harass the day shift instead. If I’ve finally hit the numbers I need I just want to get stabbed as soon as possible and give them all day to start running their tests. Not that I get to decide what the doctors do or when, or anything even approaching it.

My night sweats are back in force after last night too – probably why I’m so awake at 5am again. Even when you’re exhausted, if you expect to wake up sopping wet in just 45 minutes, sleep loses its allure. I’ve been having fantasies about my bed back home, my┬áridiculously comfortable and numerous pillows, a porch door I can open at night… Even if it turns out to be a few months before I get a chance to go home it’s going to be quite an experience that first night. I’m planning on a marathon of sleep starting with a straight 12 hours – no IVs, pills, blood draws, vitals – just sweet merciful sleep.

Another Monday means another rotation of the doctors on the unit for a week, with any luck since I’ve been here 5 straight weeks I’ve already met all the attendings – this week my primary doctor should be back on the unit and I’ll (hopefully) be able to get some real answers about the viability of doing the next phase of my treatment as an outpatient. Even if that goes well though I won’t even know until at least Wednesday – I’ve really got to find a way to relax. When I came onto the HEMONC unit there were so many unknowns about my disease and treatment it was easy to take it day-by-day because there just wasn’t enough information to look all that far into the future. Now the potential paths for my treatment are fairly well defined and I’m driving myself crazy wanting to hurry up and get it done. A good problem to have all things considered.

– Austin

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